Postmates - Commercial Parody
INT. OFFICE - NIGHT
A woman sits at her desk, exhausted, working overtime.
An ANNOUNCER up above starts talking to her.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
You can Postmate almost anything! Like a big bowl of pasta while working overtime at that job you hate!
A bowl of pasta poofs in front of the woman on her desk and she looks up hopeful.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
You can’t Postmate a better boss though.
The woman frowns.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
But you can Postmate toilet paper to teepee his office!
Toilet paper appears on the desk and the woman gets excited again.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
As well as a colorful array of markers to vandalize his walls and precious calendar!
Markers plop on top of the toilet paper and the woman peeks around then with a devilish smile.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
You can even Postmate keys to key his car when you take your daily cry break tomorrow!
The toilet paper and markers disappear and keys rain from the sky. The woman gets more excited.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
How about laxatives to add to his afternoon tea?! Just slip a little bit in. He will be on the can for hours!
A container of laxatives shows up on the desk and she tucks it away in her shirt pocket.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Better yet! Postmate a chainsaw!
A chainsaw smashes onto the table, nearly splitting it in half.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Wait in a corner and finish him off for good!
The woman grabs it and nods. The Postmates logo appears on screen.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Postmates, get anything delivered! Well... maybe not a lawyer when you get arrested.
The woman with a crazed look stands up and revs the chainsaw.
BLACKOUT