Dangerous Teacups - Comedy Sketch
Logline: A peppy father and child get in line for the Teacups at Disneyland, but an intense employee ruins their fun.
EXT. DISNEYLAND TEACUP RIDE - DAY
A peppy DAD and his CHILD approach the teacup ride.
CHILD Dad, look! There’s no one in line for the teacups, let’s go!
The child drags him to the line.
DAD
Our Disneyland trip wouldn’t be
complete without it!
They smile at each other as an EMPLOYEE walks over.
EMPLOYEE
Hold on a second! Why do you two
look so happy? These teacups are serious business.
DAD
(laughs)
Serious business?
EMPLOYEE
That’s right and I would be worried
if I were you two.
DAD
You’re kidding right? It’s the
teacups.
CHILD
Yeah, it just spins around and
around.
EMPLOYEE
Ha! Just spins around? Have either
of you worked on the teacups part- time for an ENTIRE year?
DAD
No, but...
EMPLOYEE Well I have and I’ve seen shit. CHILD
Shit?
EMPLOYEE
And I was put on this ride
specifically to prepare and most importantly warn the brave few who want to risk their lives. In fact, I’m going to have to check your height kid.
DAD
Okay, I understand your being
careful, but my child already passed the height requirements on Space Mountain and Indiana Jones.
EMPLOYEE
Well, congratulations!
(deadpan)
That means nothing to me.
The employee brings over a standard measuring stick.
EMPLOYEE (CONT'D)
Minnie ears off and step in front
please.
The child obediently steps over.
EMPLOYEE (CONT'D)
Looks like you’re clear. An inch
shorter and you would have gotten sucked straight down into the bottom of the cup.
DAD
Excuse me?
EMPLOYEE
Okay Dad, your turn.
DAD
My turn? But, I’m a grown man.
EMPLOYEE
Whoa, there’s no need to make a
scene. Stretch your arms out for me.
The employee brings out a measuring tape from his pocket and measures the dad’s arm length.
EMPLOYEE (CONT'D) Alright, let’s see, let’s see... Ah, so close sir, but not quite.
DAD
What?
EMPLOYEE
I was looking for one less inch on
you. Your long arms run the risk of flinging over the edge and getting slashed repeatedly by the spinning teacups around you.
DAD
The teacups only move like 5 miles
per hour...
EMPLOYEE
Yeah, but it feels way faster than
that... if you know what I mean. I’m afraid you’re going to have to use a special seat belt.
The employee walks off and returns with a belt that resembles a straight jacket.
EMPLOYEE (CONT'D)
Here we go. Not only does it fold
across your lap but it crisscrosses in front and wraps around your arms nice and snug. You won’t be flinging around with this.
DAD
Come on, is that really necessary?
EMPLOYEE
Absolutely! I bet Goofy would have
loved this belt today when his arms nearly got torn to shreds by all the spinning vortexes of death around him.
DAD
That’s very funny.
(to child)
Don’t worry, he’s only joking.
CHILD
Is Goofy okay?
EMPLOYEE
No, he’s not okay kid!
(to Dad)
Are we taking this serious now?
DAD
Whatever, your just trying to scare
us.
(to child)
Let’s get out of here, this ride’s lame anyway.
EMPLOYEE
How dare you. The teacups is the
best and most intense ride at Disneyland.
The dad and child leave disgusted and another EMPLOYEE 2 walks over.
EMPLOYEE 2
Where are they going?
EMPLOYEE
They left, realized they couldn’t
handle the heat.
EMPLOYEE 2
Ah huh... Well, since no one’s in
line. Should we take it for a spin?
EMPLOYEE
(scoffs) Yeah, I don’t think so.
Goofy walks by whimpering with a still bleeding decapitated arm.
EMPLOYEE (CONT'D)
(to Goofy) Hey, hang in there buddy.
BLACKOUT